Not like changing head gaskets, but still, I hate it when threads about small problems don't have follow up. So, for posterity:
There are 4 bolts holding the cross member up, 2 on each side. This is nearer to the driver's side, and the exhaust runs more on that side of the cross member, so this is the side I did this on. Got 2 slightly longers bolts, (doesn't need to be much longer, the stock ones have no threads at the end or they would almost work), some flat washers. Pulled the 2 originals out, put 4 washers on each bolt for spacing between the cross member and the car. The washers added about 1/4" clearance, right at the bolts, which was just enough at the exhaust piping. No need to do the other end of the cross member, in my case. If it were to still scrape, I could do the other side, or just add more washers to the same side. Plenty of room on the bolts I used to add 4 more if I needed to.
Good thing about doing all of this only on the drivers side is that you can reach it without even jacking up the car. Always nice. Figured I'd rather keep the bar in there if possible, to keep it somewhat stock, even if not entirely. If it's used for bracing the body somehow, it might not be as strong, but I doubt that'll be a problem. This was probably not any harder than jacking the car up to take it out entirely. You'd have to leave the bolts in there anyway, since it holds up the heat shield over the exhaust tubing, otherwise you'd have even more racket from under there, so might as well just work with it.