Out of the Hospital again. (I'm ok)

Nettlesd

Registered User
Hello everyone,

You might remember me from the do-it-yourself butt-dyno thread. Well, I've been at it again.

I recently needed to change the oil in the car so I thought that should be easy enough for me. I mean, come on, how hard can it be to change the oil in a car. Without the help of the neighbor kid (he didn't want to come near me again because of the butt-dyno procedure) I decided to tackle this myself. After jacking the car up and putting the car on jack stands, I proceeded to try to get the oil plug out. No matter how much pressure or leverage I used, this thing was not budging. Not to be out done by a stubborn oil plug, I asked another SC fellow who told me "You can always make another oil hole". Not knowing what to use or how to do it. I decided to get out the ole trusty 357 magnum (yes, I do own one). I crawled underneath the car and picked out the best spot to make a new oil hole. I then pointed the 357 magnum at that spot and let it rip. It made such a load bang that I raised up slamming my head against the engine sub frame and knocked myself out. I woke up an hour or so later covered in oil with a splitting headache. The good thing is I got the oil out but I don't know where the bullet went. Can I just use a cork or something?

Well, I'm out of the hospital for now with only a few stitches to my forehead. I'm still trying to get all the oil out of my hair. Everyday, I go open up the oil cap and squeeze a few ounces of oil out of my hair and let it drain into the motor.

I did find out one thing though, guns and oil pans don't mix. Next time, I'm making sure I have a nice soft pillow covering my head.
 
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You must have graduated from a South Georgia Vocational-Technical College with a degree in automotive mechanics.....
(but then you would have detailed the number of col'beers you had while thinking up this solution, and how the "flip-top box" protected your pack of Marlboro Menthols from getting oil on them....)
 
Duh! Next time just open up the filler cap, shoot the gun in there, and wa-la! No fuss, no muss. Bullet goes out the bottom where it is eaily located, oil drains not in hair, and head stays safe!:D
 
Out of the hospital again.

I had to go upstairs and get the hot coffee ot of my nose! where do you come up with this stuff? As an alternative a small piece of c-4 around the pan bolt may do the trick to let me know. Tim :eek: :eek: :eek:
 
LOL IF true you are a definate canidate for the next presidental election, not even you could screw it up anyworse................
 
Oh yeah!

I remember you! You are the dude that rubbed your butt against the rear wheel when the car was on jack stands! Not to mention that the rear wheel was at about 5,000 RPM!
Words can't decribe you man!:D I nominate you for SC JACKASS of the year!:D :D
dirtybird91
 
Seriously, what is wrong with you? Why would you do that? If you can't do it, take it to the damn shop and have them change your oil for $19.99. I mean even if your plan did work and you got the oil out, um you now have a hole in your oil pan... I dont know what to say... I just can shake my head and forget about reading this..:rolleyes:
 
Billabong089 said:
Seriously, what is wrong with you? Why would you do that? If you can't do it, take it to the damn shop and have them change your oil for $19.99. I mean even if your plan did work and you got the oil out, um you now have a hole in your oil pan... I dont know what to say... I just can shake my head and forget about reading this..:rolleyes:
Hey dude, I don't know if this guy is serious or just joking! Noone could seriously shoot their oil-pan with a 357Magnum. I think if he really did that the oil pan would have more than one hole in it! Two bis-a$$ holes, and not to mention if he was to shoot in the wrong direction he would have got a tire, engine block, or his wise neighbor! LOL!
Don't take this seriously man, because nobody is that damn dumb in reality. But if he is and owns a damn gun "Pray for us all"
dirtybird91:eek:
 
After carefully reading your post, I think it would probably help to leave the bullet in the case. The extra lubrication from the lead should help on the life of the crank bearnings and if you have any problems with the new oil hole, a used champagne cork should work well. Glad to hear you're making progress. At this rate, you should be ready to do a load test on the alternator using your tongue.
 
Correct me if I'm wrong Duane...

But I believe the Helms manual calls for a .45 caliber. Less chance for the bullet to go straight through the other side of the pan and cause an extra hole.

I'm franky surprised someone of your SC acumen would miss such a detail.
 
Duane,

I'm glad to hear that you're on the road to recovery!

Now, I don't want to alarm you, but whilst you were in the care of physicians at the hospital, did they ever take any X-rays of your head? It may be unlikely, however it is possible that the bullet went through the pan, collided with a main cap causing the bullet to reverse its course through the hole in the pan. Now, I understand that you were laying beneath the car at the time, and perhaps the bullet actually entered your head. The emergency room staff may have mistaken the bullet wound for a cut, caused by you hitting your head on the underside of the car.

I suggest you do one of two things:

1. Check yourself back into ER, and request that they take a couple o' films.

2. Lean way over to one side, shake your head and listen for a peculiar rattle.

In any event, I'm guessing that this most recent episode of "SC Automotive Repair, Duane-style" is likely to lead to further stories of tasks you've attempted yourself on your car. ...Since you've now built up some confidence in yourself, and all...

Best regards,

Sean
 
Thanks for the how-to! I don't know if I can get a .357 but my friend works for the police so he should be able to help me.

You don't have any tips on how to get the air-silencer-box-thing out that everyone keeps talking about but I still can't see?
 
I have the answer for the air silencer! The most direct way is to simply take a crowbar and peel away the front left fender. Just poke it in anywhere in the general vicinity and start peeling. You should be able to see it- then if you can get a hold of those jaws of life thingies (or even a chainsaw...), go to work on that puppy. Your engine will breath so much easier!

P.S. If you don't see it under the left side fender, go over to the right side and repeat the above steps... :p
 
Newbie question:
Do you use a hollow point for this, or would that be overkill? Can you post pictures before and after the modification?
I did a search, but I couldn't find anything on this subject. :confused:

Thanks!

Oh, what kind of HP gains are you seeing as a result? 20? 25?

;) :p
 
Free flowing airfilter

Welp after you get them bandages off this time. I have the coolest way to make your intake free flow better, take the gun and shoot a bunch of holes in the intake tube from the air cleaner to the throttle body. It will Flow alot more air then your mass airflow sensor can. There is no need to take it off either just shoot away with the .357 .
50 holes should be suffice.
 
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