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tbirdsc35th
07-27-2003, 05:45 AM
I appreciate it when someone passes on something to lift the spirits. Been updating the Registry again and again it's late. Just received this in an email from a 35th owner and it was perfect. Thank you, Lee.

Hope you enjoy.

Have a great weekend all.

____________________________________________


After every flight, pilots fill out a form called a gripe sheet, which
conveys to the mechanics problems encountered with the aircraft during the
flight that need repair or correction. The mechanics read and correct the
problem, and then respond in writing on the lower half of the form what
remedial action was taken, and the pilot reviews the gripe sheets
before the next flight.
Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of
humor. Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints and problems as
submitted by Qantas pilots and the solution recorded by maintenance
engineers.By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an
accident.

(P = The problem logged by the pilot.)

(S = The solution and action taken by the engineers.)

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.

S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.

S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.

S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.

S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.

S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.

S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.

S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.

S: That's what they're there for.

P: IFF inoperative.

S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.

S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.

S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.

S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.

S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.

S: Cat installed.

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding
on something with a hammer.

S: Took hammer away from midget.


______________________________________________

Melon
07-27-2003, 05:13 PM
lmao - that's funny. That looks like a place where I should work - I think we'd have some fun.

-Andy "Melon"

Ripvanbl
07-27-2003, 09:52 PM
Now that's comedy :p.

Mike Puckett
07-27-2003, 10:56 PM
One that I'd heard:
P: lunch left in galley.
S: Ate lunch.

Hellraizer547
07-28-2003, 01:53 AM
That was great. I'm reading it for my third time just to be Double over laughing. :)

Sergio

P.S Thanks for post.

HSKR
07-28-2003, 02:30 AM
I've seen that before, but instead of a commercial Quantas airline, it was Airforce pilot gripes and groundcrew fixes. Still funny as hell though.

JSC
07-28-2003, 03:13 AM
Thanks Lance,that line about warning the aircraft to straighten up and fly right is a riot !!!

tbirdsc35th
07-28-2003, 05:08 AM
Glad I could share. As I said, it was sent to me by a 35th owner and I thought it was great. Cheered me right up for sure.

Have a great week all.