New number 1!!!!!!! Any challengers??

A

Andy 94Sc

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New number 1!!!!!!! Any challengers??

Wahoo it took a lot, but now I am number 1 on the W89BUSESCIMMBFU2KwO150KMCSDFaRHIT List! (White 89 beat up stock engine super coupe in mid michigan bought for under $2K with over 150K miles cloth seats, dented fender and rust hole in the trunk)

I started this list because it just wasn't fair to try and compete with those who spend money on modifying their cars when I am just trying to keep the winter beater going. To qualify for this list you must meet the following conditions;

1. The car must be in mid michigan, a 1989 model, White with grey cloth interior purchased for less than $2000 American.

2. Body. The body should be dented in the front passenger fender by a Taurus, and in the rear driver side quarter panel by a Jimmy. There should be one and only one 6" by 2" rust hole in the trunk. The hood should be peppered with rusted rock chips and feature a small dent near the passenger side windshield wiper. Driver side ground effects should be loose and hang freely.

3. engine. The engine should contain OEM or cheap local parts store components ONLY. headgaskets and water pump should have been changed by well intending, but uninformed previous owner. Supercharger should be run for several years with very little oil because previous owner didn't know it needed oil. Plug wires should be Ford factory originals from a 1994 SC that got the new Jacobs wires. Should also run Bosch platinum plugs installed by well meaning but ininformed owner. Bearings in tensioner pulleys should be well worn and noisy, displaying side to side movement.

4. Exhaust. Driver side manifold is to be the only original part. Passenger side manifold should be "borrowed" from a 1992 SC owner because you broke the studs (EGR should be plugged and dangling). The rest should be OEM from a 1994 SC that got the MN12 performance kit.

5. transmission. The only transmission allowed is a 75k mile AOD from a totaled 1991 SC. The AOD may have pan bolt threads stripped and longer bolts with nuts on the back installed.

6. electronics. Main body and dash harnesses should be well hacked up and spliced from no less than 3 stereo, 2 cell phone and 1 CB radio installations. Engine managment should be a 1989 5-speed EEC since the car was a 5-speed before being pirated for parts and converted to AOD.

7. tires/wheels. Wheels should be 1989 stock SC wheels with no less than 1/8" of metallic brake dust. Locking lug nut and key should be well worn as to slip when doing tire changes. Tires may be whatever was on sale. Weather cracked bald Eldorado Crusader II's with chunks missing are prefered.

8. Miscellanious. Gas tank should be from 1994 LX thunderbird. carpeting should be well worn and smell funny, drivers side floor mat is to be missing. Ashtray should be full of "mystery screws" that are left over after the numerous interior disassemblys. Stereo should be vintage 1990 Eclipse pull out with loose connection, 1 Yamaha 4 channel Amp driving 2 JBL speakers, and 2 GMC truck speakers.

And please remember this IS all in fun, and was written in part because there are not enough postings in the Midwest SC section here.
 
Re: New number 1!!!!!!! Any challengers??

Dang Andy, I thought I was gonna be able to move to Mich and beat you till the whole ashtray-full-of-screws part... Mine is full of spare jumper wires so I can start the car with its faulty brakepedal-starter interlock switch.

Maybe I can be #1 in the subcategory of "[insert all of prior requirements] + being hit no less than 5x while legally parked on a seldom used public road" :D
 
Re: New number 1!!!!!!! Any challengers??

superbees and barracudas fit that list, too?
 
Hmm after careful consideration I have to say no.

Fred,
I think Superbee's and 'Cudas will be disqualified by rules #1, #5, #6 and #8.

Sorry, I am the King.
 
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