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ThunderDave
02-21-2004, 07:35 PM
I was informed today by my daughter in law that my oldest son is missing.He's in the Marine Reserve and drove up to Greensboro, NC yesterday for his duty weekend. After getting there and checking in, he left to go get something to eat and never came back.

The Marines haven't been able to locate his car, which is a red 90 Acura Integra hatchback with NC tags, not sure of the number. We can't file a missing persons report until about 11:30 tonight which would be 24 hours from when he should have checked back in on base at the latest.

They just had a baby and are thinking of buying a house and we hope he just needed some time to himself as he might be overwhelmed by everything. He is 19 years old. If anyone is in the Greensboro area and sees his car, please contact me here or at my email.

[email protected]

Thanks,

David

35th T-bird SC
02-21-2004, 07:47 PM
I'm sorry to here that.:( Does he have a cell phone? I'm sure he'll turn up.

XxSlowpokexX
02-21-2004, 08:45 PM
Hopefully he just freaked a lil and will be ok..Best of luck

ThunderDave
02-21-2004, 09:33 PM
Talked to my daughter in law again and seems (someone) has spent around $200 from their checking account. 2 or 3 transactions in Greensboro and I think she said 1 in Virginia. She called the Marine base and found out they will be doing the investigation instead of Greensboro police. So at least the search to find him is really underway. No sign of his car yet.

He does have a cell phone, but only get his voicemailbox.

We'll keep hoping and praying for the best.


David

Doug Franklin
02-22-2004, 02:00 AM
Dave will keep you in mind.
Doug

HSKR
02-22-2004, 02:08 AM
That sucks man. I hope everything works out fine for you, and he's found quickly and safely.

SC UL8R1990
02-22-2004, 08:21 AM
really hope everything turns out to be ok and hes found safely. Hopefully he just needed some time to himself. good luck

ThunderDave
02-22-2004, 12:43 PM
My wife went by their apartment after she got off work this morning and his car was there. After knocking on the door and calling there phone, he finally let her in. He was mad at the Marines for promising him things while recruiting him, that they haven't done. I tried to warn him about recruiters.

And I think with the baby and his mom and wife trying to push him into buying a house that he realized they couldn't afford, he just freaked and needed to get away from everything and be a lone for a while.

I think he and his wife will work things out and he'll have to face the Marines still and find out what they are going to do about his leaving. I think he'd rather get out than stay in. He had so much promise going into the computer field and if he gets out, I don't know what he'll do. His job at Target will not provide enough for them long term.

I appreciate all the thoughts and prayers. We are glad he is home and safe. If he weren't bigger than me and a Marine, I'd put him over my knee, lol!!!!!!!

I'll let y'all know what the Marines do when that happens.

David

XxSlowpokexX
02-22-2004, 12:53 PM
Good luck....All to often people dont realize what joining the forces is all about...I dont think there is any way he can get out of that,,I wish you well

world b. free
02-22-2004, 01:06 PM
I guess all is well that ends well. This is about the first treat that I dreaded reading.:eek:

I can't imagine how you must have felt during the period of time that your 19 year old son was missing. It is easy to think of what could have happened with all the pshycos running around. Some crazies are still roaming Ohio highways at night shooting people.

I am glad that I read this tread at it's conclusion. I'm sure your son will be just fine now.:cool:

FRED

SC UL8R1990
02-22-2004, 01:26 PM
its good that hes allright. im 18 and have been to recruiters.....trust me they are unbelievable. You gotta remember, they are trying to make a living off of recruiting people.....so they will say whatever they want to get you in. After theyve got you in they really brainwash you. Im not trying to be negative, i have a friend who is in the marines and you can see as clear as day. good luck on getting him out. im not sure what can happen. Sounds like he trying to do good and maybe got mixed up in the wrong thing. Im only 18 so i cant say much, but i try to involve my parents as much as i can when making decisions about school and such. They know alot more than i do!

HSKR
02-22-2004, 02:28 PM
Having been in the Navy for 8 years and seeing stuff such as this one, I can say what happens next and what the Marines decide to do for punishment is really up to him. If he goes back, is completely honest and decide he wants to finish out his enlistment, they will go easy on him, as long as he doesn't have a history of bad behvior before this. If he goes back and tells them he wants out, and has valid reasons, they might try and help him out a little, but it's going to be hard getting out just because the recruiter lied. His best bet right now, especially if he is trying to buy a house is to stay in and let the military pay part of his mortgage. But he really shouldn't need to buy a house. The military will pay him enough to rent while he is in. At 19yo with possibly a full career in the Marines ahead of him, this isn't a good time to buy a house. He will be getting transfered all over the place and buying a house only to have to sell it to move in a couple years isn't a good idea IMO. Get on the base housing list(when he transfers he will have priority being married with a baby) and just use his BAH to pay for rent in an apartment or small house. Sounds to me like the rest of the family needs to learn to adjust to military life as well as him. It's hard the first few years, especially for newlyweds for the spouse trying to adjust, and it's better not to throw too much into the fire.

ThunderDave
02-22-2004, 02:39 PM
Yeah, but he is in the reserves Brian and I don't know how much housing help they give the reservists. Right now it's just him and his wife and the baby and I feel like a $500 a month 2 bedroom apartment is great for them. I'd like to see him stay in and do more with the computer training, but it's hard to go off to one of their schools when he has a full time job and works part time with me. We'll see what happens. BTW, that's a real cute dog you got there. Ought to be a good one for a long time.

David

35th T-bird SC
02-22-2004, 04:52 PM
I'm currently in the Coast Guard for the last 10 years and I'm not sure about the Marines but we are flexible with our reserves if they want to cancel drills and do them some other time they can. I don't know if he reported to the Officer of the Day (if he did, then he was obligated)we just require that they do X amount of drills per year and which weekends is up to them. Unless of coarse there is a recall demanding them to be there. If they are not leniant, then Captains mast will usually follow for that short of AWOL. He needs to call them A.S.A.P. before it gets any worse. Hope it works out.

35th T-bird SC
02-22-2004, 04:55 PM
Oh, and he gets no BAH as a reserve(housing money) Just the drill pay for the 4 drills a month. If he's recalled to full time he'll get the same benefits I do (Full time) With the way things are in the middle east I would expect a recall sooner or later.

HSKR
02-22-2004, 04:58 PM
Originally posted by super91coupe
Yeah, but he is in the reserves Brian and I don't know how much housing help they give the reservists. Right now it's just him and his wife and the baby and I feel like a $500 a month 2 bedroom apartment is great for them. I'd like to see him stay in and do more with the computer training, but it's hard to go off to one of their schools when he has a full time job and works part time with me. We'll see what happens. BTW, that's a real cute dog you got there. Ought to be a good one for a long time.

David

Ahh, reserves are different. I don't think they help with housing other than some financial counseling to help get money matters straightened out. Which I do recomend he ask about if they are tight for money. Has he ever thought about going active?? Better pay, and better medical as well. Especially for the wife and kid. The deployments can be hard though. I don't think they will do much to him if it's just reserves then. Maybe give him some EMI during up coming drills.

ThunderDave
02-23-2004, 06:11 AM
Yeah, I thought about asking him if he had considered going full time. He signed on for 6 years and has just over 4 years left.

He went back up to Greensboro Sunday afternoon and I guess they had a mast, but he went from lance corporal back to private 1st class. They also cut his pay for two months and told him he could stay in the marines or if he wanted to get out, there were legal ways toget him out.

Personally I think he should stay in and maybe even go full time. Like you said, it may be rough and he may have to be away from his family, but the benefits would be worth it.

David

ThunderCoupe94
02-23-2004, 09:53 AM
Super91, Sorry it took me so long to post but, I was glad to read that he was aiight. Hope everything else goes well for him and his family. I am only 20 so i know how it is to want to have time to urself sometimes. God Bless


Jay

HSKR
02-23-2004, 12:22 PM
He doesn't want to use the "legal" ways to get out. That will put a bad mark on his record and make it hard to get employed at any decent job. Civilian employers take military service seriously. If you had good service then you are more apt to get hired, but if you were kicked out for anything, there is less a chance of getting the job.

Michael Mattix
02-24-2004, 08:16 AM
My LORD I don't know how you did it! I have two small children (2 and 4) and I am dreading them getting older and doing things like has happened to you. I am glad that everything has turned out alright! Life is very hard. It is difficult to recommend the right thing to do for you son because everyone is different. But, sometimes it's good to have harsh consequences to their actions because they learn (sometimes) (terrible twos are not in this category :) ) that if I do this which is wrong, I am going to have to pay or do this which I don't want to do. I was blessed with the option of going to college. I went in, failed, got my head out of my butt at that time, went back and succeeded (well at least passed). I think that it took me to fail to realize that I was very wrong in what I was/wasn't doing. I don't know if that makes sense or helps, but I am just glad that nothing happened to your son. Sometimes being a parent sucks!!!

ThunderDave
02-24-2004, 05:08 PM
Once they get to be adults, all you can do is advise them and hope they make the right choices. I haven't always made the right choices either and I've learned from my mistakes and in some cases paid dearly. Sometimes my wife questions my choices now, like the SC, lol!!!!!!!


I think it was a good wake up call to him to get with the program, because he has a wife now and a little one month old baby boy. He can't be going off and screwing up like that because they are depending on him. Hopefully, this has gotten his head out of his butt.

I have two more boys with my exwife, 17 and 16. And my wife now and I have 2 boys 4 years and 1 1/2 and have one due in April. THIS will be the LAST!!!! Too bad they didn't make the SC in a minivan version, hahahaha.


So I've got a ways to go with raising kids and worrying about them. Yeah, being a parent sometimes does suck, but sometimes there's nothing else like it and I'm thankful for all my kids.


David

plev72
02-24-2004, 11:40 PM
The "legal" ways out shouldn't give him a black mark... he might be able to get out due to "lifestyle" change or something along those lines... or he could go see a chaplain and see if they can work something out. The Reserves are generally rather forgiving.

HSKR
02-25-2004, 05:40 AM
Originally posted by plev72
The "legal" ways out shouldn't give him a black mark... he might be able to get out due to "lifestyle" change or something along those lines... or he could go see a chaplain and see if they can work something out. The Reserves are generally rather forgiving.

From my experience, anything ither than an honorable discharge is not good on your record for getting another job. If you have to be admin seperated(anything other than end of enlistment) then any future employers are going to look at that and think that if they couldn't finish their career in the military, are they really going to be able to do thier job here?? I know some cases are different as far as why they get out, and just because it's not a bad thing, if a person has a breakdown in the military and can't finish thier obligated service due to personal issues, are those same personal issues going to effect them in future jobs?? Believe it or not, employers look at stuff like that, and take it into consideration.

mcate
02-25-2004, 09:42 AM
Hey HSKR (Brian) where are you stationed, & what rate are you? I'm navy too, an FC1 stationed in Norfolk.

Mike

ThunderDave
04-08-2004, 03:20 PM
Well, it's been a little while since my son went awol. After thinking about it, I assume he thought about it anyway, he has decided he wants to get out of the Marine Reserve. I don't think he's making the right choice, but it's his decision and he'll have to live with whatever goes along withgetting out like that. His wife wants him to stay in as weel, I think everybody wants him to stay in, except him. I don't know where else he'll be able to get the free computer training he was getting.

Just thought I'd update y'all since everyone showed a lot of concern when we didn't know where he was. I think we have a great group of people on here and I'm glad to be a part of it.

David

JAFO
04-08-2004, 09:02 PM
I don't know much about such things, but I do hope that it works out well for everyone involved. That wasn't the way to go about it, I'm sure everyone was worried, but I do hope that he finds his niche. Glad he's healthy and nothing worse happened.

Thanks for the update. :)