PDA

View Full Version : I need my friends right now...


onequiksc
07-25-2005, 08:52 PM
Today, my wife left me. No, this is not a joke. And it also makes no sense to me. But life sometimes doesn't.

She has been going through many personal and emotional changes the last few months, a new important job for one that has many social functions and trips, as well as premenapausal hot flashes and mood swings, accentuated by a man she met at work with whom she's been flirting with, that has been the object of obsession for her for months. He is divorced with an 8 year old son and must be Brad Pitt from what she says. Be careful what you wish for is what I told her.

The man in question doesn't know Teri's plans right now and has only flirted with her in a business setting, but I'm sure this opens the door for her and him if he's willing. I'm sure he's willing for sex, but whether or not they have the "stuff" to be compatible over time like we were is much less certain. Supposedly this guy backed off and didn't call her for a couple weeks, if she's telling the truth, when he got wind of our troubles. Teri also told me a co-worker mentioned that she had heard this guy was having a "thing" with his babysitter. Even if she crashes and burns, I have to let go and try to move on. I don't want to be a safety blanket, fall back guy if she's become so fickle. I love her more than I can say, but it's not enough to be a punching bag.


My future is very nebulous right now, and it hurts to think about it.

The people that were at our home here Saturday will think...~~~? No way! We seemed so happy together right? I thought so too.

This is why it makes no sense to me either. We had a super time in Tenn, affectionate, both doing things we had in common....she says (not that you've ever heard this one before), she "loves me but isn't in love with me" anymore. She loves me as a friend. Just a friend that she didn't mind having sex with regularly, and intimacy. Usually people that feel that way don't even sleep in the same bed anymore, let alone have sex.


I put my life out to this community, bare my soul to the world because you are my friends and support group. I need it.

Right now, it's hard to imagine life without her. I have so many emotions that I can't think straight.

Although I make decent money, it's not steady. So I have to think of either stepping up my workload somehow or find another line of work. She makes a very good living so I'll definitely feel it, but...I don't need much "stuff" to be happy. People make me happy, not things.

Hopefully a good lawyer can help me do ok.


This actually started 2 months ago, when she first told me about "John". She did wind up leaving one night weeks after that and called me 3 hours later crying, wanting to come home. I told her I didn't know if that was a good idea, because it would just likely prolong the enevitable (I was right eh?) down the road if her heart wasn't in it with me, but her persistence led me to bring her home. Things we ...ok...for a while, we got back on track, but...today she went to counseling and it led her to confront herself and her feelings. She said she'd been trying to work it out but thought about this guy every day, and still had lunch flirtations with him recently. She was confused, still is actually. She says she just needs to be on her own.


I part with a thank you to everyone for listening, because it's cathartic for me to get this out.


My family tells me I will be ok. Hard to figure right now, but maybe so.

The worst part is, I hope the SC doesn't have to factor into this, if I'm in need of $$$ which I may be.

I need some rest, TTYL, Dan.

Jake
07-25-2005, 09:09 PM
I know we've only met a handful of times but consider you a friend and I'm here for you anytime you need to talk. I just can't believe this, I don't really know what to say but you have my number if you want to talk.

unclenick
07-25-2005, 09:41 PM
Dan, if you need anything, I mean anything let me know. I have been in your shoes. Friends, family and the Lord will help you through this time. I am here if you need to talk.

SuperChicken89
07-25-2005, 10:14 PM
Dan if you need anything, let me know. I consider you a friend and if you need someone to talk to I'm there for you.
I have been down a similar road in the past and it will work out for the best in the long run.
As Nick said, friends and family will help you get through this tough time.
Call me if you want to talk.

Bryan

XR7Kurt
07-25-2005, 11:10 PM
Sorry to hear about your troubles Dan. I don't know what to say that could help you right now. I do know that there's probably not another guy out there that will have more people willing to do anything they can for than you.
I'm surviving my second divorce with kids involved in both, so I know you will make it when all is said and done.
I'm glad you didn't let yourself be the punching bag, you wouldn't have any energy left to what you need to do now.

Kurt

Sweet90SC
07-25-2005, 11:19 PM
Rats!...anyone want my wife I can't seem to give her aw..WHAP! :eek: Ouch!! That Hurt!!! :mad: .....


Seriously thats terrible news Dan...You need anything or want to talk come on over lets drown some worms out back...I'm here all day every day so any any any any time man... ;)

Brad Klein
07-26-2005, 08:11 AM
Dan im sorry is the only thing that is coming out im speachless
Friends and family are the best thing for you right now so if you need anything let me know
Call me if you need some one to talk to 941.350.7215

the-big-e
07-26-2005, 10:18 AM
Holy Yak.....I mean Cow...... :eek:

Just like everyone else, I don't know what to say.....

I have been on both sides of situations like you are going through....

Time will help heal the hurting....

Take care....And if you need anything, you know you can call me anytime @ 704-618-7788

007_SuperCoupe
07-26-2005, 01:14 PM
I'd offer you more support, but I'm way out in NE. I do want you to know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. If you do need anything from Lincoln, NE, give me a call, and I'll help you out. Otherwise, just know that we here in NE will be think and praying for you. Keep your chin up and things will work out. They always do.

Take care of yourself.

onequiksc
07-26-2005, 04:40 PM
Thank all of you very much, especially Sam for stumbling in to say the kind words.

My first order of business is to get some sleep, I have 2 full details tomorrow and if I have another night like last I'll be in bad shape to do them.

One day at a time.

victor malvar
07-26-2005, 09:30 PM
Hi Dan,

All I can say the sun is hidding behind a cloud at this moment. I have felt similar to what your going through. I have loved and lost before. Or Maybe won...No one at this moment can feel what your feeling. Some of us that have been through these things before centainly understand the gut whenching feelings which occur, the thoughts of the day and the long nights. May time heal your heart quickly...May your thoughts subside the termoil cease. May peace come upon you! You will heal from this in it's due time have no doubt. The Magic of this thing called Love will shine it's magic thoughout your heart and soul again!
Your heart will heal!!! A renewed love will enbrace your Heart, Body, and Soul again.Trust it, It's Magic! You cant buy it, or grab it! It comes all by itself it's Magic...There not much I can say that will get you through all the fleeting thoughts you must be experiencing. Remember these words.... God does have a Purpose for you! Sometimes it takes a little time before he reveals it to you...You are a good Man there no doubt! He just may have something better in store for you! He will reveal it to you soon! It will find you.You don't have to look, but dont turn your back to it when it touches you again!!! It's just around the corner and when you least expect it you will run right into it. You will know when It's real there will be no doubt. It will spread it's wings for you openly! Treat it gently and fly away fly away......
Rest and try to keep busy. I Love you Meng!
I'll call you.....
You know where I am, I'll be here for anything.!

Cobra85
07-28-2005, 09:03 PM
Dan,
Sorry to hear about your misfortune. I've been down that road a few my self. But each time I've managed to pull my self together with the support of family & friends. We are here for you.
Just remember, at the point when things appear to be darkest, a light will shine. Be aware of it and follow.
Glenn

SCme
08-10-2005, 08:03 PM
Dan, I read about them missing you on TBU and had no ideal why they were worried about you. I can not image what you are feeling during this time in your life, but you will be in my thoughts and prayers. The other have posted # as well, but if you need any thing day or night just call.... 423-698-3611 or 423-304-8911.

victor malvar
08-11-2005, 11:02 AM
Hi Dan,

I have wanted to call you on a couple of ocassions but when I see the clock it's already after 11:00 Pm . I don't want to wake you up. I have been thinking of getting together with you. I though I would come over and take a nice drive bring you over to the house and show you some neat things you might want to do. I have something that you might just like doing and you can make some good Rubles from it just sitting around. I just do not have time to do it.I hope you are well and that things are going as good as posible.
I will try to call you tonight. I have a phone that is constantly ringing but the call would just have to leave a message while we are talking. Take care Meng.
All Our Best!
Victor and Diane
If you need anything, I'm here, Just holler I think I can hear you were not that far. 1 hour and minutes on week days. Week ends the road is full of beach goers...

onequiksc
08-12-2005, 04:46 PM
Thanks Victor, I'll try to call you sometime in the next week if I can. Sunday maybe.

I'm having a hard time most days, some days I'm good. Thank God I have the friends I have here and in my imediate life to help. It has.

I wouldn't wish this on anyone, but I know too many have been through it.

I'll try to pop in now and then and catch up on things.