Anyone heard from Dan lately?

[90XR7Cougar5spd]

Yeah i know im not from florida, but i was just wondering if anyone has heard anything outta Dan lately. Havent seen him around here lately, hope everything is working out in his favor, sad to see such a horrible thing happen to such a cool dude..........

Derek

[kamakazie_1]

Yeah i know im not from florida, but i was just wondering if anyone has heard anything outta Dan lately. Havent seen him around here lately, hope everything is working out in his favor, sad to see such a horrible thing happen to such a cool dude..........

Derek


Just talked to him, he's coming around slowly... I've not been around much the last several months myself so I didn't even know till just now on the phone...

RJ

[unclenick]

Good, I am glad he is still putting up the fight. Tell him if he needs to call me, he has my numbers.

[kamakazie_1]

Good, I am glad he is still putting up the fight. Tell him if he needs to call me, he has my numbers.

I told him that he has friends out here and he knows how to get hold of us, don't hesitate to call and ask!! He said he would... I told him that when it cools off a little I'll have the barby at the house and he was coming.. I might have to go pick him up to get him there though!! He'll be OK, I've been there and done that, twice, and look at me, I'm not bitter or anything!!! :eek:

RJ

[onequiksc]

Derek, you don't know what it means to me that someone like you, whom I've never met, would care enough about me to post like this. Amazing.

All you guys and gals are such super people, and it truly makes a difference in my life. Indulge me here a minute, but I think I need to get this out, if you don't mind listening...cathartic for me...

Things are rough lately, I can't deny that I'm struggling with depression, but I'm going to get some help. Never been on anti-depressants, but I'm kind of going to have to try, because time isn't helping much on it's own, and it scares me to be in the mental/ emotional state I'm often in. I feel paralyzed a lot. I have a few good days here and there, but it's 1 step up and 2 back then.

This has been traumatizing because not only did I lose my "soul mate" and best friend, but I will have to part with this home that I've almost rebuilt myself from the ground up. Even if I could afford to keep it (which I can't at the moment) the memories that are here haunt me daily, and I want a fresh start and new memories. Some of you also know that I built a second suite ('mother-in law suite') for my mother here as well, and being she's old and not that physically able makes the task of moving her as well as me and 2 dogs, an onerous chore. In addition, I will likely have to find a new way to make a living, detailing is too sporadic here, especially lately since gas has spiked, fewer people are calling me to get their cars done. I can't make enough at it to live the way I'd like to live. My STBX wife seemingly could care less about any of this as she's too wrapped up in her needs. I guess what I'm trying to say is that it has overwhelmed me so that I'm frozen and can't really deal too well with the scope of the things I need to do to move on.

If any of you can look into the eyes of your partner and swear something like this can't happen to you, take stock. I never would've believed it could possibly happen with us. I would've bet the farm (and lost) against it 5 years ago. People change, and they can change drastically sometimes. Call it "mid-life crisis", whatever, it sucks all the same by any psychology or semantics. Happens to a LOT of people, men & women alike, in their mid 40's. Epidemic even from what I read on some of the relationship forums.

If anyone thinks there is a "bad" side of me that perhaps you're not getting, well...the only shortcoming I feel I have is that I never made a lot of $$$ in my work, but then...she said it never mattered to her. In 17 years she never once said otherwise. That could be changed anyway, but if it somehow mattered deep down to her, she never gave me a clue or the chance to try to make a better living. I have always been a blue collar, self-employed "hands on" guy, since i was 17, and she was always white collar and made much more money. Do I believe that's why she left. Nope.

I don't drink or do drugs, was always attentive and affectionate, and spent quality time with her. No physical or verbal abuse ever. I kissed her good night and tucked her in every damn night she was here, we made it a point to do. We always seemed to have a lot laughs, great sex life, and lots in common. I was interested in what she did at work etc. If anything, she took ME for granted, especially the last few years. She chose to gamble due to some inner need I couldn't fulfill. I'm old / smart enough to know that it's not so easy to find what we had, and I wish her much luck, because few people ever find someone to love you as deeply and completely the way I did her. Of that I am proud to say. You can't make someone love you though, I accept that. Do I love her still? Yes. Do I like the "new" Teri? Not a bit. I recently had lunch with a friend and told him-" I don't think I'll ever meet someone like Teri again, ever"..

His reply? ..." Dan, you don't want to meet someone like Teri again!:

Never thought about it that way, but he's right. I'd be a masochist to want that kind of person again.

She has said to friends that, "it's my fault, not his" and I agree. Whatever is missing inside her, she may never find. But she is off to try. She tells people she cries a lot, feels she too is in a depression, and is seeing a counselor. She says she's happy with her new life, but there are holes in that too. The guy she was "crazy over" at work isn't seeemingly in the picture, and she's on Match.com now looking elsewhere. He was the impetus for this crisis of hers, and I can only assume he declined her advances. Still, she proceeds on.

So it goes. I will be receiving the divorce papers soon I'm told. All I can do is have my lawyer fight for me. He's good, though not cheap. I will have to sell my SC, but you gotta do what you gotta do. Bryan is interested and has offered to sell it back to me someday If I wanted, and he still had it. I couldn't think of a better, more meticulous guy to own and appreciate it. For that i'm grateful.

RJ, if you have that house party, I'll be there God willing.


All my best to my SC friends, you're without peer. Thanks for letting me vent. D. H.

[Gregthespy]

Hi Dan,
Good to see you come around and give us an update on how you are doing, as I was wondering how you were doing myself. If there is anything I can do to help you out, I do have weekends off now and am more than willing to head up there at the drop of a hat to help you with anything, even if it's just to give you company. Keep your chin up, there will definatly be better days to come once you find your way through this tough time. We are all here for you and you are in our thoughts.
Greg

[onequiksc]

Thanks Greg, I have been thinking about you lately and I need to give you a call but I'm not sure when you're working on the weekends. But now I know the answer to that, so I'll call you.

I'm *tentatively* going to head down to OSW Friday (weather permitting)night with a couple guys I know, they asked me to join them and I may as well tag along and inhale some burning rubber. That might help.

[kamakazie_1]

Good to see you out on the board Dano!!! Hang in there dude, and like I told you the other day, and Greg said in his post, you do have a bunch of friends out here.. If ya need something all it takes is a quick call!!

See ya soon...

RJ

[Brad Klein]

yeah Dan i may be 3 hours away (2.5 if i drive) but if you need anything im there ive got my brother in law staying with me right now cause hes going through the same thing it sucks but friends and family are always there for you

[Evil Inside]

and I may as well tag along and inhale some burning rubber. That might help.

Seems to always work for me...

[Evil Inside]

Dan,

If there's anything you need...I'm just an hour away...

From personal experiences, I've come to learn that anti-depressants and the sort just kinda mess you up more than you already had been. It may take some time, but overall you can learn to overcome it. You become your worst enemy with depression.

It's a shame that you have to sell your car...does it have anything to do with me driving it? I have a tendency to lessen the blue book value...;) Eventually, I'll have mine running and you can always have a go at the "Red Devil".

If you want some insight on the first part of what you had to say, please give me a ring. I'd rather explain verbally than online, but I'm sure I can offer some decent advice. I may be a "kid", but I haven't exactly lived a childish life.

407-697-8190

T.J. AKA Evil Inside

[Gregthespy]

Thanks Greg, I have been thinking about you lately and I need to give you a call but I'm not sure when you're working on the weekends. But now I know the answer to that, so I'll call you.

I'm *tentatively* going to head down to OSW Friday (weather permitting)night with a couple guys I know, they asked me to join them and I may as well tag along and inhale some burning rubber. That might help.
I'm game Dan,
Is this tomorrow friday or next week? Give me a call and even if I'm not there leave a message, I get off work at 3:30 but don't get home untill like 4:30ish I'd be game for tomorrow but unfortunately next friday is my sister's birthday so i probably won't be abel to go next friday if that is the date. Let me know, would be good to see ya and catch up. Glad to see you around here again, if you ever need to talk anytime give a shout.

[Markviiiedrea]

Glad to here from you Dan, like the other guys said, just give me a call I’m all way's around (go figure I still cant find and aircraft job). I might be live in BFE right now and can't come over like I used to. But I will always be around somewhere.

Even if you sell the car (witch I hope you don’t) you still got that picture of our cars that my sister took.

Plus I know you can’t wait to call me in January and laugh at me cause I’m A$$ hole deep in snow. :D

[90XR7Cougar5spd]

Dan, i will start off by saying that you are one hell of a guy. If it wasnt for freinds, then life would suck, the SCCOA is like one big family, i feel like alot of these guys on here are like part of my family, this is the only forum board that i visit that is like this. Yes, i have never met you, but still you are my freind, i was kinda worried about you when i didnt see you around for a while. I may not be very old, but i too have been through sever hardships in my life, when i was young, my mother married a very absusive man, he beat the living ~~~~ out of us both everyday the entire time they were married, then at age 17 me and my mother had a falling out and havent really talked to her since, she seems to think im a irrespondible little kid. I am now 20 and have straightend up alot and have grown up alot, i had no other choice, but she still sees me as a irresponsible kid. Me and her havent talked in the past year or more, and the sad thing is, we live about 35 min apart. My father has never been there for me everysince day one. I later learned that he was in and out of jail several times. If it wasnt for my freinds, i probly wouldnt have gotten through any of this. Dan you are a great person, and we will probly meet someday, atleast i hope so, i am proud to have a good freind like you and the rest of the SCCOA group. You guys are all great.

Derek

PS Dan if you need anything, give me call, 918-534-0142 I am around mostly unless i am at work, if i am at work, leave me a message.....

[onequiksc]

Stories like that make me realize we're all susceptible Derek, it helps to know you made it through that ok, thanks for the help.

TJ, I'm personally pretty damn paranoid about taking an antidepressant, ok. really paranoid...I was prescribed one today but haven't dropped it off yet to have filled...Everyone says I need to give it a shot and if it weirds me out too much initially, just wean off it, and maybe try another. Others swear by them (my mom says Paxil "saved her life" 10 years ago), so it's a crapshoot. The Dr. told me my case is a "situational depression" and that he'd like to see me come off the Lexapro around 6 months, that he doesn't want me to stay on it. I read where the 1st week or 2 can be hell before it begins to kick in, but my weeks are already like that anyway. No way to know if it'll work fine with my system till I try it. I'm doing well today but tomorrow could easily be bad.

They seem to effect everyone completely different, so to say one is terrible and another is great is silly. Still I'm hesitant, but I'm not sure i want to have the bad days like I've been having either, it's a real tough decision. I'll call you soon, D

Greg, I'll call you after 4:30

[Sweet90SC]

Dan,
I've been thru hell the last couple of weeks but believe me from the bottom of mine and Carla's hearts we are with you always....any time you wanna just chat I'm here bed bound mostley but I am here to talk so please call me.......I will PM my number to you.....

Rick

[35th_tbird]

i dont really know what i could offer you, but i'm definitely here to try. you can also give me a call just about anytime. my number is 321-263-5953. i may only be able to provide an ear to listen to you, but sometimes that really helps, i know it has for me.

i think you could just about put these words in anyones mouth and they'd be true, but i'm here for ya, man.

you'll make it...somehow, someway. just never give up :P