I connected it up (not the triangle things) and the bolsters arent working (but the passenger side bolsters work) could that be what they are for pass seat didnt have those triangle connectors though
There isn't a separate harness. There must be more than one type of harness - one for seats with side and back bolsters, one for seats without bolsters, and possibly one for seats with only the back bolster.
The two gray female plugs are in the main harness that's attached to the seat bottom. The corresponding gray male plugs come from the lumbar and side bolster switches which are on the side of the seat. The male and female plugs and the harness come with the seat when it is removed from the car.