For the Jersey SC'ers!

[Scott Long]

How to Drive in Jersey......

1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is Nork - rhymes with Fork, not New-ark.

2. The morning rush hour is from 5 AM to NOON . The evening rush hour is from NOON to 7 PM . Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday Morning.

3. The minimum acceptable speed on the Turnpike is 85 mph. On the Parkway its 105 or 110. Anything less if considered "Sissy". (Just ask the Governor of NJ)

4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Jersey has its own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest muffler go first at a four-way; the trucks with the biggest tires go second. However, in Monmouth County, SUV-driving, cell phone-talking Moms always have the right of way.

5. If you actually stop at a Yellow Light, you will be rear ended, cussed out and possibly shot.

6. Never Honk at Anyone. Ever!!! Seriously. It's another offense that can get you shot.

7. Road construction is permanent and continuous in all of Jersey. Detour barrels are moved around for your entertainment pleasure during the middle of the night to make the next day's driving a bit more exciting.

8. Watch carefully for road hazards such as Drunks, Skunks, Dogs, Cats, Barrels, Cones, Celebs, Rubber-neckers, Shredded tires, Cell-phoners, Deer and other road kill and the Homeless feeding on any of these items.

9. MapQuest does Not work here -- -- none of the roads are where they say they are or go where they say they do and all the Turnpike EZ Pass Lanes are moved each night once again to make your ride more exciting.

10. If someone actually has their Turn Signal On, wave them to the shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "Accidentally Activated."

11. If you are in the left lane and only driving 70 in a 55 - 65 mph zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped the Jersey Bird ~!~" accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.

12. Do not try to estimate travel time -- just leave Monday afternoon for Tuesday appointments, by noon Thursday for Friday appointments, and right after church on Sunday for anything on Monday morning.
SAFE DRIVING ! ! ! !

[Ira R.]

Welcome to my world :p See what I have to do to get in and out of NY all the time.

Ira

[Darkside]

Plus, I just found out, that a person can't pump their own gas in Jersey. That blew me away! What's up with that.:eek: Heard it from this FBI guy whose airplane I was working on.

[Ira R.]

Plus, I just found out, that a person can't pump their own gas in Jersey. That blew me away! What's up with that.:eek: Heard it from this FBI guy whose airplane I was working on.

Yep. At some point back the decision was made that it is safer to have only "experienced professionals" pumping gas. There was also something about employeement in the industry but I really don't remember. Maybe someone from Jersey will chirp in here who has a better memory than I. I was commuting into Jersey at the time but it was over a dozen years ago now.

Ira

[Darkside]

Yep. At some point back the decision was made that it is safer to have only "experienced professionals" pumping gas. There was also something about employeement in the industry but I really don't remember. Maybe someone from Jersey will chirp in here who has a better memory than I. I was commuting into Jersey at the time but it was over a dozen years ago now.

Ira

My brother told me Oregon is the same. In Oregon, gas is considered a hazardous material and you have to be licensed to handle it, so, an attendant has to do it for you. Maybe that's the same reason as Jersey.

[Ira R.]

My brother told me Oregon is the same. In Oregon, gas is considered a hazardous material and you have to be licensed to handle it, so, an attendant has to do it for you. Maybe that's the same reason as Jersey.

Maybe, but Jersey is a huge union and worker's rights state and I clearly remember that had something to with that as well. I think the unions were concerned over the precedent of allowing self service in general. [shrug] Like I said, I don't remember any of the details though.

Ira

[tim]

Hey look, When I drove on the road I lover Long Island and Jersey. I got paid an exrta $150 to go over the GW bridge. I like the people out there they remind me of Chicago. If you cant hang park. 18 wheels usually gets the point across.:eek:

[Mike Puckett]

9. MapQuest does Not work here -- -- none of the roads are where they say they are or go where they say they do and all the Turnpike EZ Pass Lanes are moved each night once again to make your ride more exciting.


Does Mapquest really work anywhere?:rolleyes:

[Dahoopd]

How to Drive in Jersey......

1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is Nork - rhymes with Fork, not New-ark.

2. The morning rush hour is from 5 AM to NOON . The evening rush hour is from NOON to 7 PM . Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday Morning.

3. The minimum acceptable speed on the Turnpike is 85 mph. On the Parkway its 105 or 110. Anything less if considered "Sissy". (Just ask the Governor of NJ)

4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Jersey has its own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest muffler go first at a four-way; the trucks with the biggest tires go second. However, in Monmouth County, SUV-driving, cell phone-talking Moms always have the right of way.

5. If you actually stop at a Yellow Light, you will be rear ended, cussed out and possibly shot.

6. Never Honk at Anyone. Ever!!! Seriously. It's another offense that can get you shot.

7. Road construction is permanent and continuous in all of Jersey. Detour barrels are moved around for your entertainment pleasure during the middle of the night to make the next day's driving a bit more exciting.

8. Watch carefully for road hazards such as Drunks, Skunks, Dogs, Cats, Barrels, Cones, Celebs, Rubber-neckers, Shredded tires, Cell-phoners, Deer and other road kill and the Homeless feeding on any of these items.

9. MapQuest does Not work here -- -- none of the roads are where they say they are or go where they say they do and all the Turnpike EZ Pass Lanes are moved each night once again to make your ride more exciting.

10. If someone actually has their Turn Signal On, wave them to the shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "Accidentally Activated."

11. If you are in the left lane and only driving 70 in a 55 - 65 mph zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped the Jersey Bird ~!~" accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.

12. Do not try to estimate travel time -- just leave Monday afternoon for Tuesday appointments, by noon Thursday for Friday appointments, and right after church on Sunday for anything on Monday morning.
SAFE DRIVING ! ! ! !

You forgot one thing.

13. Joysey tags trump all other states. If you are in the fast lane, doing more than the speed limit, when Joysey folk come up behind you and flash their high beams...it means move.

Addendum: Maryland drivers are entitled to cut that arsehole off and/or drive him into the Joysey wall. Than shoot'em.

[SuperCharged91]

Reading this is what makes me sad that my parents moved away from Newark(Nork:D) when i was 2

[joenintiesc]

I really don't mind the not pumping my own gas thing - especially in the winter! :D

Everything else on that list is actually true, too...:eek:

[Miller]

Newark is not a nice place to be. I was crusin with a bunch of cars and missed an exit, and ended up alone in Newark. At like 1am. it wasnt a happy place

[Jacob_Royer]

I really don't mind the not pumping my own gas thing - especially in the winter! :D

Everything else on that list is actually true, too...:eek:

Theyd never get my SC full... the auto shutoff kicks in about 3 gallons from full :(

[Scott Long]

The guys on the Audi message board I frequent say do not leave an S4 outside in the Jersey or they will steal your HID headlight and chop the air bags out of your dash. Actually the whole area around NY and NJ are bad for that kind of theft I guess.

[Miller]

i saw on news a few months ago in NYC people were gettin there lights stolen all the time.. they were interviewing people who were on there4th set of them... apparently they come out realllllly easy too from what they were saying, and sell for big $

[blown94cougar]

they will not only steal your lights but most will just take the whole car especially in Newark everything on that list is true newark clifton dover and especially paterson lincoln park I wouldnt get out of my car not even for a cop by the time you walk back to it it'll be stripped .. there is a place that makes springs for mack trucks down in paterson my father in law will not drive down there to get'em and he owns the macks...road construction ...lol we have more road construction for stupid things so the state can ask the government for a bigger check to line the pockets of senators and governers that are only in office because they have a relative that paid out money to get a bill he wanted passed...as for the governor ha he got a slap on the wrist for that lil jaunt down the highway ,then as he left the hospital he was caught speeding again and got a free pass,fuc'in idiots ...and you know its road work when 1 guy is busting his arse shoveling and 5 other guys are leaning against the truck we call it the jersey lunch break which seems to last a long time hense the traffic delays and jams ...New jersey is the armpit of the united states

[Miller]

Every single time i drive into NJ, i roll down my windows, take a big sniff and say MMMMMM.. I LOOOOOOOOOVE NJ..:rolleyes: could almost get it confused for staten island!

[Scott Long]

Ever see the movie New Jersey Drive?

[tim]

I dont care what you guys say I miss running the east coast.

[midgetchaser]

Reminds me of sweet home chi town.

haha in my buddys neighborhood UPS doesnt deliver there any more casue the trucks keep getting stolen.

[Scott Long]

Reminds me of sweet home chi town.

haha in my buddys neighborhood UPS doesnt deliver there any more casue the trucks keep getting stolen.

Does he live in Cabrini Green?

[Pablo94SC]

Ira,

They passed a law in Jersey back during the 70's oil crisis that only attendants could pump gas to help prevent theft, line jumping, and misappropriated fuel rations. When the crisis passed, they just decided to leave the law on the books to keep a few more jobs in the economy.

PS: I hate letting other people pump my gas.

[blown94cougar]

Ira,

They passed a law in Jersey back during the 70's oil crisis that only attendants could pump gas to help prevent theft, line jumping, and misappropriated fuel rations. When the crisis passed, they just decided to leave the law on the books to keep a few more jobs in the economy.

PS: I hate letting other people pump my gas.

Especially when the idiot gas attendant spills it down your quarter panel...With my fuel cell now in the trunk...ha screw the law Im pumping it myself:)

[It's Taken]

I live in Jersey, and I can say there is no better feeling see someone pump your gas when it's in the 20's, I can the "Jersey Bird" as I let the birdie out of it's cage pretty often.

Funny story; I was driving to work on day on a two land road with no one in site. The speed limit was 50 mph, and I'm going about 65-70 and this car is in the left lane of course and could have gotten out of the way but she didnt, so after riding her bumper for awhile. I blow by her, lay on the horn and flip her the bird. I get of the gas, she catches up to toots her horn and throws the bird right back. I get a look at her and she had to be around 75 years old- lol. I kinda of felt bad about that one, but maybe she learned something that day. I hope so any way...

[Ira R.]

Ira,

They passed a law in Jersey back during the 70's oil crisis that only attendants could pump gas to help prevent theft, line jumping, and misappropriated fuel rations. When the crisis passed, they just decided to leave the law on the books to keep a few more jobs in the economy.

PS: I hate letting other people pump my gas.

See, I knew someone would have a better memory of it then I would.

Ira

[Scott Long]

I know in Oregon it creates jobs and helps the economy (plus you can tip them) so that's why you can't pump your gas there.

However if I had a car with a fuel cell, I'd be sure to supervise closely.

[Mike Puckett]

For more dirt on New Jersey, check out today's Nonsequitur cartoon!

http://www.msnbc.com/comics/daily.asp?sFile=nq071023

[SilverCasket]

Great Topic Scott~! .. And yes, with as crooked as most people here are, there would be a LOAD of thefts of gas which is why they have the pumping law.

Anyone remember the 1st shootout when "FERTILE PHIL" came with me? It sure was comical that weekend. I'm sure the elf remembers Fertile Phil. ... What a good time that was.

ANthony

[David Neibert]

Great Topic Scott~! .. And yes, with as crooked as most people here are, there would be a LOAD of thefts of gas which is why they have the pumping law.

Anyone remember the 1st shootout when "FERTILE PHIL" came with me? It sure was comical that weekend. I'm sure the elf remembers Fertile Phil. ... What a good time that was.

ANthony


Anthony,

I remember Phil....he helped me repair a broken rocker stud in record time. Unfortunatly he broke the valve cover doing it, which caused a huge oil leak, which lead to my discovery the following morning of a bent valve. So Phil breaking the valve cover actually saved me from destroying the motor by racing it and dropping a valve the following day.

The "elf" is now the capt of the SS minnow...aka "Skipper"

David

PS: How are you feeling ?

[89XR7TD]

All true, the thing I hate is when they pull out in front of ya then go 10 under the speed limit:rolleyes:,yep a different smell in different parts of NJ, the highest car ins. rates,etc... the 10 hour drive to The Shootout, I felt weird having to go inside pay first then pump my gas, not use to that...LOL:eek:

Tom

[Miller]

On the LIE, generally, if you see somebody driving liek a total AHOLEEEEEE, its generally NJ plates. go figure!

[89XR7TD]

I wonder if i'm 1 of those AHHHOOLLLLEEE Drivers?:D