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Thread: 2019 Auto Show Review

  1. #1
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    2019 Auto Show Review

    2019 Auto Show Review

    Here are my impressions, in no particular order.

    Spend more and get less. That seems to be the theme of this year's show. All day parking at the MTCC is $32. The auto makers have become absolute cheap bastards about giving away brochures or bags or any other goodies. You have to take tedious, annoying surveys or engage in carnival games to maybe get a cloth bag. There seemed to be a lot more empty floor space than usual that could have held more cars too.

    I think it's better when the dealerships organize the show instead of the manufacturers. Salesmen know the products fairly well. The college marketing students and show floor models the manufacturers hire don't know a connecting rod from a fishing rod.
    But, the hottest chicks were definitely at the Alfa Romeo display. The Giulia isn’t available with a manual transmission in North America. Not even on the Quadrifoglio. It's a marketing decision the company made. The 2 seater 8C is also being discontinued.

    The Ford F-150 costs $94k. Feels like a luxury car more than a truck too.

    Sitting in the Dodge 2500 Heavy Duty feels like you're piloting an Imperial Star Destroyer.

    The Jeep Grand Cherokee costs $125k. At least you get a Hellcat engine and massive brakes with it. Good vehicle for a rap video. Jeeps in general have gotten expensive.

    If you're a rising star in the Russian mafia, the Nissan Armada or Infiniti QX80 is the car for you.

    The Infiniti Q50 and Q60 sedans and coupes are very impressive, especially the 400 HP I-Line series. Probably blow away and 3 series BMW and won't spend half its life at the dealership service either.

    The cheapest BMW in the show was a 330i for $60k. All BMWs, Audis, and Mercedes have IPads glued to their dashboards. Some Audis aren't even painted. They just clearcoat over the grey primer. The new Audi Q8 is $108k.

    All Mercedes look exactly the same. They differ only in size and engine. If you go to a Benz dealership you only have to say what size you want, like "four door size medium". Mercedes-Benz dashboard controls require computer science degrees to operate. You have to be proficient is several computer languages to change the radio station. The volume control dial on the console changes the volume about 15 seconds after you rotate the dial. Mercedes didn't have their special owners-only relaxation café this year. I think they thought it was too elitist. Mercedes oil filler caps say "Use Mercedes-Benz Oil". Wow. I didn't know Mercedes was in the oil refining business. Maybe it's a new grade of oil, just not written like xxWyy.

    As much as we love to goof on Hondas, they really build a quality product. The Civic is the best built car in the industry. Its cup holders and console are very cleverly designed. The Civic Type-R is 306 HP. The Accord is great looking, roomy, and well assembled.

    The Subaru WRX console is almost useless, and messes up an otherwise awesome interior. The Outback feels like a really high quality car. The Subaru 2.5L 4 cylinder engine has the most conveniently located oil filter of any car, ever.

    The Lexus LS is $124,000 and the interior is styled like a Christmas tree ornament. The GS-F and the LC500 on the other hand seem like awesome cars.

    The Fiat 500 has the ~~~~tiest interior and assembly quality in the show. If you want a quirky compact foreign car get a Mini. Even though the fad has long worn off, Minis are designed and built fairly well and aren't crazy overpriced even though they're built in Germany.

    The Challenger is a perennial show favourite. I think the quality is a bit better than 5 years ago. The Demon is now called the Hellcat Redeye. I don't think the extra 90 horsepower and wider fenders are worth the extra $30,000.

    Now that they don't make the Lancer/Evo anymore, there's no reason for Bitchyoumissme to exist anymore.

    Porsche is actually back with a real manufacturer's display instead of PFAFF doing the job. New Porsches are too expensive. The 911 Carerra S starts at $170k.

    The Toyota Avalon has a ridiculous dashboard and console. Like they tried to copy Volvo and failed.

    The Canadian Army was showing off some new and old vehicles but didn't bring one of their Leopard 2A6s or M77 guns.

    Hyundai and Kia are promoting their plug-in hybrid cars a lot.

    The Mustang GT again has the most comfortable seats in the show. If you have a sore back, the Mustang seat will cure you. Too bad the interior is a little too plasticky and cheap, but that's OK at the price point. The 5.0 L Coyote engine now has 460 HP and 420 ft*lb Torque. This engine is the latest evolution of the MODULAR 4.6L V8 THAT STARTED IN THE 1990s! ALL HAIL THE MIGHTY 4.6L!
    The Ford Ranger is returning after a badly needed restyling. No diesel engine available of course.
    I got into a Ford Edge and some screen on the dash with a computer animated person asked me how I'm feeling. I told it about the painful burning sensation I get while urinating. It responded that it feels very awkward now because it claimed to be a real person. I said yeah you don't sound like a person to me. Then it wouldn't talk to me anymore.

    Chevy is really sucking. The trucks are good, the Corvette is awesome. The Camaro is ugly. Not fugly like 5 years ago, just ugly. The Impala is being cancelled. But they sell Korean made Daewoos. Sometimes I think GM is circling the toilet bowl like Bitchyoumissme and Volvo.

    Buick has a cool lineup of nicely designed and built cars. Beware though, one of the SUVs is made in China, the Evolution..or Everest….Excursion….Exhaustion…Ebulliant…..Exponen t….Esperanto…whatever the ~~~~ it's called. The Regal GS is a great copy of an Opel. Cadillac has some very nicely built cars with kickass engines.

    There was no specific Ferrari display. I guess Remo Ferri didn't feel like it. Lots of McLarens though. The only Bentley was the Mulsanne. Now that's a ~~~~ing tank. The only Rolls Royce on display was their new SUV whatever it's called. Lamborghini was also showing their SUV, whatever it's called, like I care. The purple Aventador they showed was $680k. Thanks I'll rather get a McLaren for half that price.

    Acura was actually generous enough to give away nice cloth bags. I don't think their cars are all that much better than Honda's but the RDX and MDX are tightly built SUVs.

    The Mazda3 was restyled very well. The CX-9 is cool and modern, but third row passengers will have the hatchback glass pressing down on their heads. Mazda has this bright metallic red paint colour that looks just awesome.

    The new Toyota Supra looks like a Subaru BRZ. It's not a supercar but it's priced a hell of a lot lower.

    Volkswagen still refuses to sell diesel engines.

    The Jaguar F-Type R on display was $170k. After 4 years when the original owner dumps it before the warranty is over it will go for $11k on the used car market.

    The Range Rovers look and feel beautifully made, but they suffer the same fates as Jaguars: horribly unreliable and nosediving resale value.

    Er…that's all I can think of for now.
    Last edited by Superbird281; 02-24-2019 at 01:16 AM.

  2. #2
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    As always....a pleasure to read

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
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    Mississauga
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    Mike;
    This review, as usual, is both insightful and irreverent. I love your disdain for driver distraction aids like I-pads glued to instrument panels. Car manufacturers have a lot to answer for as far as enabling distracted driving. Then add cr*p like lane departure warnings for the idiots that aren't paying attention.
    Your impressions are, once again, spot on and a huge source of amusement. The talking Edge bit tested my bladder control!
    Alan

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