Here's what you do:
- loosen the lug nuts on the passenger side tire, set parking brake
- jack up the car and support under the frame rail with a suitable jackstand
- remove the passenger side tire.
- crawl under and you'll see a cylindrical looking thing about 8-10 inches long and thick cable attached. It will have a red cap covering the hookups.
- remove the negative cable from the battery
- remove the cables on the starter
- remove the 2 starter bolts holding the starter to the bell housing.
- remove the starter..
installation is the reverse of this proceedure. Just be sure that the black spade-tab connector is tight when you hook the wires back up to the starter.
Don't overtorque things when you hook them back up. These aren't head bolts.. they should be wrench tight.
Now to your other question. The black wire terminal thing on the driverside sidewall is the "starter relay". Some people will call this the solenoid.. while not specifically correct, its sort of a common mistake and most people will know what you're talking about anyway. [specifically, the solenoid is part of the starter motor itself, but anyways...]
If your car isn't starting, before you just assume the starter is bad, check your hookups at the battery to be sure they're clean and very snug. I hate to say tight, because so many people assume that you ape-wrench the things.. that really makes things worse. Then try jumpering the relay with a screw driver just momentarily to see if the starter engages. Hold onto the handle, not the metal part.
You can buy a rebuilt starter at any parts place, autozone, pepboys, etc. It doesn't need to be a Ford part. I haven't heard any bad stories about rebuilt starters, but more than a few about rebuilt alternators and compressors. It comes down to how cheap/handy you want to be. New is always more reliable.
Hope this helps.